


Hope

by Samila_Lages



Series: Come a Little Closer [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Fontcest (mentioned), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of miscarriage, Panic Attacks, Papyrus will be the best uncle ever, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Red Needs a Hug, Sans Needs A Hug, Sansby (mentioned), Sanscest - Freeform, SansxRed, Skeleton Pregnancy (Undertale), UF! Sans - Freeform, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-08-14 14:05:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8016937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samila_Lages/pseuds/Samila_Lages
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You are shaking…” he remarks, and you just nod allowing yourself to sink into his embrace as he caresses your back. Fuck it, you were the one supposed to be comforting him right now! He needs reassurance, but you can’t give him that, because nobody can give you that.<br/>What if the human shows up again? What if they reset the world? What will happen to your baby?</p><p>UT! Sans x UF! Sans skeleprg</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [captain_shitpost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/captain_shitpost/gifts), [Flowernight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flowernight/gifts).



> This is sequel to 'Mirrors' (http://archiveofourown.org/works/7573261). I sugest you read it first.

“SANS! SANS! ARE YOU THERE? WAKE UP!”

Waking up with Papyrus knocking and shouting at your door was pretty common for you, so you were not startled. Well, not until you realized you were naked, and if the memories of last night were not a dream, you were supposed to meet another naked skeleton by your side. Well, there was none, so that must have been a dream. Fuck, what time is it? Eight AM? Why is Papys calling you so early? You can’t think properly before lunch.

“SANS! I THINK RED IS HAVING PROBLEMS. ARE YOU AWAKE?”

Now you are.

“why?”

“HE IS THE BATHROOM FOR AN HOUR BY NOW. HE WON’T ANSWER, AND I THINK I HEARD HIM SOBBING.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

So you really slept with him, and something went wrong. What? Everything came out smoothly, didn’t? You two were happy, satisfied and telling jokes during the whole thing, how could this lead to another anxiety episode? And he was so well these days! You growl frustrated, still feeling exhausted as you find your clothes and start getting dressed.

“okay, papys. i’ll take a shortcut there and talk to him.”

You say before teleporting direct to the bathroom, regretting your act because you should probably have warned Red before showing up. It could have avoid his surprised gasp as he summons six pointed red bones, throwing one of them directly toward you without hesitation.

“hey! easy!” you say as you dodge from the attack. That was close. “it’s me, red! won’t hurt you, so let’s talk.” You try to take him from his berserker state, lifting your arms in a mention that you mean no harm. The second attack doesn’t come. You sigh a little relieved, but his condition is still worrying.

You thought you’d find him chipping his arms again, but he wasn’t. He was sitting naked inside the empty bathtub, his body curved in a protective stance. His face was all wet with red tears and his eye light trembling with fear as five sharp bones remained around him, ready to attack.

You’ve seen many of his panic attacks before, but you never saw him so scared.

“hey. everything is gonna be alright, you see?” you say softly, but as you give one step on his direction, the bones adjust their aim toward you, very threatening.

“don’t come near!” He shouts, his voice quivering.

“okay, okay… i’ll… i’ll just sit here, okay?” you ask pointing to the closed toilet. There’s no reaction, and you wonder if he is really listening to you. Damn, if he is zoning out, talking will do no good. Since he doesn’t seem to disagree, so you just go, careful to not make any sudden movements. You fake a satisfied sigh as you sit, as if you were really tired of standing. “ah, i’m exhausted. had a great night.” You remark casually, blinking one eye. “i was wondering if you wanted to talk about it.” He flinched uncomfortably after hearing this. Thank goodness, he was still there. “if you don’t wanna talk, ok, but you know, there is no reason to be afraid. So, what do you think about getting rid of all those mean bones, hum?” You look expectantly to the magical attacks, but they don’t disappear.

“what about you leave me alone?” he almost roared.

“sorry, but papys is really eager to brush his teeth” As you tell him this, he seems to finally realize where he is, inspecting around dazed before looking back to you.

“ah… so… sorry… so I’ll just go away, okay?” He asks meekly.

“you don’t need to, you know… we can both go downstairs and have some nice pancakes with mustard. what do say?”

“n-no… i’ll just go…”

“if that’s what you want… hum… do you want me to reach your clothes to you?”

He takes some time, as if thinking about it – or about the fact that he’ll have to disarm his attacks in order to have enough magic for a shortcut. He is still too scared, and it is not safe for him, nor to townsfolk, to have him wandering on this state. “no need… could you leave?”

“sure.” You answer, but don’t do anything.

“won’t you leave?”

“Oh, you meant now? sorry, need to stay to open the door after you are gone. it’s locked from inside.” You blink one eye playfully, but he doesn’t seen pleased.

“you can come back after ten seconds.”

“nah, it requires too much energy, I prefer to just stay.”

He sighs disgruntled, and you know after this he’ll try to go away, even if naked. You need to act fast, before he teleports. You didn’t want to use your magic on him, but as soon as his attack bones disappear you restrain him, making he lay on the bathtub as a heavy amount of gravity force keeps him on place. You did this with best of intentions, but that’s when he starts crying loud as he begs desperately.

“p-please…! please! don’t kill me! i have a baby, please! i’ll go away, i swear! you’ll never hear of me again, but please don’t take them away from me.”

You have no idea what is babbling about until you get close enough to try to calm him down with a hug.

“fuck…” You mumble incredulous as you see a tiny purple spark inside him, a little below his ribs line, protected by a globe of translucent red magic. Is it what you think it is? Fuck, fuck, fuck!

“please, don’t kill them! Please! I beg you, please!” His desperate pleas go on, bringing you back to reality alongside with Papyrus knocking on the door.

“SANS? DO YOU NEED ANY HELP?”

“oh, n-no. everything is alright, papys. me and red are just talking. maybe… maybe you could make some pancakes for us? we’ll be right there.” Of course your brother doesn’t believe this, hearing Red crying all those incoherent things. That’s why he takes some time before replaying.

“…OKAY! I’LL MAKE THE BEST PANCAKES YOU WILL EVER EAT! CALL ME IF YOU NEED ANYTHING!” You breath in, terribly nervous, trying to calm down. You can properly freak out about it later. Now you have to take care of Red. Red is in the middle of a panic attack. You need to help him, not imitate him. Okay, you enter the bathtub, sit in front of him and grab his foot. He flinches in pure fear, but you need to do this to assure that if he tries to teleport, he’ll take you with him. You wanted to hug him, but something tells you it would make things worse.

“red… listen to me. i won’t hurt you, nor your baby, okay? are you listening to me? you are safe, okay?”

“just let me go, _please_!” He begs once more, his eyes full of tears, wide open in distress. It’s a sight that hurts you. “ _please, please!”_

Man, what should you do?

“i’ll let you, you just need to calm down before, okay? so… how about you try to breathe a little slower? remember? like we did before? just try to breathe with me. here, look at me… one, two… one, inhale… two, exhale… one… two… yeah, just like this… this, in… and out... you are safe, and i’m here for you, so just keep going” He does as you say, and soon he stops hyperventilating. “you are doing great, red. everything is gonna be alright, you know? i won’t hurt you, and i won’t take your baby from you. do you understand this? i would never make you unhappy, because i really lo… i care about you. you get it?” He nods. “great… this is great. now i’ll release you  but we really need to talk, so, please, don’t run away. will you run away?” he shakes his head negatively. “okay, so i’ll release you, do you promise you won’t attack me?” Another nod. “please, answer me, buddy. i need to be sure you understand we are friends and i mean you no harm.”

“i… i understand.”

You lessen your attack just a little in order to let he move his hands, which he immediately uses to protect the orb, and not to attack you. You sigh relived, casting out your magic, but keeping your grip on his ankle. He sits and just curls his torso, hiding the magical dome the best he can. Sensing his discomfort, you avert your eyes from it and use you telekinesis to take his clothes and put them in front of him. His shaky fingers reach his worn fur jacked, hastily putting it on, as if the piece of clothe was able to protect him. Then he looks to your hand on his foot, implying that he won’t be able to put his shorts on if you don’t let him loose.

“ah, sorry.”

You are still afraid he will teleport, so you bend a little towards him in order to touch his shoulder, letting his limbs free. He grunts lowly.

“will you hold me forever? I already told you I’m not running away…”

Hesitantly you take your hand away, and he keeps his promise. Once he is done getting dressed, awkward silence is installed as you both avoid any eye contact. Damn, that is the worst ‘next day talk’ you’ve ever had. What the fuck did just happen? Red is pregnant? How could it have happened? Was it because you came inside him? Impossible! It was just magical discharge, you’ve done that to Toriel and Grillby dozens of times! Grillby had done the same to you, as well, and it never happened.

But Red… Red seemed to know what is going on… No less, by his pleas, it’s awfully easy to imagine what could have happened to him that caused such reaction. Man, that was really fucked up, you think as blue tears pool below your eye sockets. The thought makes you nauseous, and you would have thrown up if it was not for the feeling of his arms around you.

“You are shaking…” he remarks, and you just nod allowing yourself to sink into his embrace as he caresses your back. Fuck it, _you_ were the one supposed to be comforting him right now! Red needs reassurance, but you can’t give him that, because nobody can give you that.

What if the human shows up again? What if they reset the world? What will happen to your baby? Will they just disappear, as if they never existed? Would you lose both Red and your child? The cogitation scares the hell out of you, stress building up at unbearable amounts. You can’t deal with it now. Your head hurts as you try to hold a sob. No, it’s not time to freak out. Not yet. Hold just a little more. You need to be here for Red. And maybe, just maybe, the human would never show up again. It has been more than a year since the last reset. Maybe they got bored, or they lost their power. Yeah, must be it. No need to worry, Sans.

Too bad you are not the kind of monster that holds on to hope. The last time your had hope, you were all happy on the surface and you asked Frisk not to reset the world ever again.

They promised you.

“i’m sorry…” Red says bashfully.

“don’t be…”

“i was about to kill you, you know.”

“you were having a panic attack, i don’t blame you.”

“so… are you not angry with me?”

“nope.”

“not even because of the…?” he stops. It seems the word is a new taboo.

“i am just… surprised. i wasn’t expecting this… i never expected this… i mean, i didn’t even know it was possible. we both being males, things like this.” You know nothing about skeleton reproduction, being you and Papyrus (and now Red) the only skeletons underground, and with most of monsters knowledge lost during the war, you never had access for this kind of information, never had ‘the talk’, nor searched for it. The idea of a pregnant skeleton never crossed your mind, especially because you never saw a female skeleton… what would differ a skeleton male to female, anyway? You had no actual reproductive organs, and nobody never told you were male. Maybe you just assumed yours and Papyrus’ gender. Oh man, this stuff is confusing.  And what about Gaster? You don’t remember him, but by the picture, you sometimes assumed he could be your father. You never wondered about who would be your mother, if you actually had one. As far as you know, the royal scientist could have made you and your brother inside a beaker, but… What if it was Gaster who gave birth to you and Papyrus? Did he do this all by himself? Wait, you are just assuming you are the father of Red’s child, but what if you had no participation at all? “we-we… we did them together, didn’t we? i mean.. i don’t know how it works, seriously.”

He looks at you shortly before getting away from the embrace. His face is flushed, and he seems a little self-conscious.

“yeah, we did together.” You suspire. So you’re really going to have a baby. After a one-night stand, no less.

“can… can i see them again?”

He looks uncomfortable, but nods anyway and opens his jacket, letting you watch again the sparkling purple light of the new soul. It’s so beautiful that the sight makes your chest flood with emotion.

“can i… touch?”

“go on.”

Wobbly phalanges reach for his belly, touching the orb as softly as you can. You are able to feel the different, yet so familiar magic pulsing inside it. It really is part of you, and part of Red, and yet, it’s not you, nor him. It’s someone, a new soul, a new monster. You almost can’t believe you helped creating something so wonderful. It’s strange to say, but you already love this tiny sparkle of soul.

You start to wonder about all sort of things: how long will it take until delivery? How are they born? What do the eat? You took care of Papyrus when he was a child, but you don’t remember when he was a baby. Maybe you could ask Toriel for tips. At least Red seems to know a fair amount about it, what means all you have to do ask him – something you always avoided, afraid of stepping on frail soil.

“i still can’t believe it…” you mumble in astonishment. “never even dreamt of it.”

“sorry i didn’t warn you about the possibility. i really thought there was no possibility…” he replays so uneasy.

“what do you mean?”

“well, to…” He was interrupted by the loud voice outside.

“I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, MADE THE BEST BREAKFAST YOU COULD WISH FOR, BUT IT IS GETTING COLD.”

“hum… papys is really worried about you… what do you think we continue our talk later?” It’s a great idea, you think, once you really need to calm down before you can discuss about the parenting thing.

Red agrees with you, closing his jacket. You help him standing, afraid he might slip and fall. Suddenly you feel even more protective towards him. It’s just natural, isn’t it? You don’t really know.

Soon you two are on the kitchen, where Papyrus was awaiting by the table, looking expectantly at both of you. Of course he is awaiting for an explanation after all the racket that was made. You sit and once Red does the same, you start eating. Good thing Red taught Papyrus how to make pancakes.

“ARE YOU FEELING BETTER, RED?”

“yeah… sorry for worrying you. both of you.” He is not eating, just poking his breakfast with a fork.

“snow problem, red.”

“MY BROTHER IS RIGHT, RED. WE ARE A FAMILY, AND WE HELP EACH OTHER, SO, IF YOU EVER NEED AND KIND OF HELP, YOU CAN ALWAYS CONT ON ME, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AND ON SANS.”

“yeah… i know. you guys are great.” He smiles shyly. “thank you for taking care of me…”

“hum… since we are speaking about family…” You start and look towards Red, who widens up his eye sockets. Hum, maybe he didn’t want to tell Papyrus yet, damn it, you are so nervous! You should have asked him before.

“WHAT ABOUT FAMILY, SANS?”

“hum… it’s… how do you do to sleep with your family on the table?”

“SANS!”

“you use a _nap kin._ ”

“SANS! NO PUNS ON THE TABLE!” Papyrus fakes his typical anger towards your puns and Red smiles a little, noticeably a little less anxious.

“you can tell him.” He says.

“really?”

“TELL ME WHAT?”

“hum… how do i put this? how do you feel about our family getting even bigger, papys?”

“SANS, IF IT’S ABOUT THE DOG AGAIN, I TOLD YOU WE CAN’T HAVE ONE BECAUSE YOU DON’T EVEN FEED YOUR PET ROCK!”

Oh, great time to remember you are irresponsible and inappropriate to be even a pet owner. But Red probably already knows it.

“it’s not it, papys… red is pregnant.”

“I ALREADY TOLD YOU IT’S TOO EARLY FOR JOKES, SANS.”

“actually, he is serious…” Red confirms, his eye light fixed on his plate as his checks get flushed.

“SERIOUS?”

“serious.” You endorse. “we are gonna have babybones around.”

“I CAN’T BELIVE THIS! THIS IS MARVELOUS NEWS! CONGRATULATIONS, RED!”

“won’t you congratulate me as well, bro?”

“WHY SHOULD I?”

“well.. since i was the one with red when the stork came by, it seems i am the daddy. is it not right, red?”

“hum… yeah…? i guess?” He surely wasn’t expecting for your question, blushing brighter.

“IF RED AND YOU ARE GOING TO BE PARENTS… THIS MEANS… OH MY GOD! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!” By now, Red is furiously flushed, and you just smile.

“yeah, this means you are going to be uncle, papys.”

“I WILL BE THE BEST UNCLE A BABYBONES COULD EVER HAVE!”

“i’m sure you will, bro.”

“I MUST START KNITTING RIGHT NOW!” He yells, getting up. “MY NEPHEW OR NIECE MUST HAVE COMPLETE LAYETTE!”

“hey, i think we still have some time until the big day…”

“HOW MUCH TIME?”

“hum… tibia honest, i have no idea. do you know, red?”

“hum… it varies… depends on the parent’s capacity to provide magical nourishment.” Magical nourishment? Well, that makes sense. And seems like a good thing, since Red has really strong magic – stronger even than yours, no less, due his LV. His HP still worries you, but he seems okay, so maybe it’s no big deal. You’ll just have to ask him about it later. And the thought once again makes you nervous. “but a book said the standards were about six to ten months.” Six months? That’s a fair amount, you think. Of course, you’ll have a _ton_ of things to do. Literally a _skele-ton._ Now, that’s probably the best pun you ever made considering the context, too bad _you don’t have the guts_ to tell it right now. It’s no time to be _humerous._

“SIX MONTHS WILL BE MORE THAN ENOUGH.” Papyrus remarks as he sits again and start making all sorts of plans to prepare for the babybones arrival.

Red is smiling softly and seems a lot less uneasy. You fear when your brother asks if he can see the baby, but Red just lets him, showing off his ‘belly’ proudly to Papyrus awe. It makes you relax a little too, and you start to think maybe you can have hope again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank Flowernight for all the help she gave me. Without her, I wouldn’t have come up with my skeleton pregnancy headcanon (which will be explained next chapter). She even shared her headcanon about skeleton reproduction, that can be found at http://archiveofourown.org/works/7920892. It’s very interesting, and even if differs from mine, I took one lovely element from it (you’ll find out next chapter too). So if you are into skeleton pregnancy, I highly recommend the reading.  
> I thank Mari was well, my best friend who doesn’t even like Undertale, but deals with me talking about it all the time, and helped me with the headcanon too.  
> I’d like to offer this fanfiction to someone I never talked to, but whose fanfiction inspired me. Bright Eyes http://archiveofourown.org/works/6714616/chapters/15355846 was the first skelepreg I’ve ever read, and I immediately was in love with it. So, thank you as well, Captain.  
> That’s it… Until next chapter. If you have any suggestions, critics, tips, or if you saw anything strange, just let me know. (English is not my mother tongue, so I’m sure there are a lot of mistakes, I read it twice, but I’m pretty sure I’ll find more typos every time I read it).


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red finnaly tells Sans some things about his past.  
> ~~~~~~~  
> It took me so long, I'm sorry... I've read it sometimes, but you already know English is not my mother tongue, so, if you see something strange, please, let me know.  
> ~~~~~~~  
> Mentions of rape on this chapter.

You felt guilty. Sans was a fine, caring and gentle monster that promised he'd protect you.

Just like your brother once was. 

Oh, yeah. Nicer times, you remember as shy tears run from your eye sockets. Life was shitty back there, of course, with the hunger, the danger, the fear. But you had each other, and that was all you needed, really. 

You did your best to raise Papyrus, to provide him food, shelter, to teach him all he needed to survive, to keep your house from invaders and thieves. You loved him more than anything. He was your world.

And he loved you.

No matter what you did, he’d always love you…

Even if you tried to run away from his love.

Even if…

“…red?” your thoughts are cut and you almost jump startled, suddenly realizing Sans’ hand was over your bare shoulder.

“fuck, man! you know i’m blind from this side!”

“sorry, i knocked at the door, i even had a joke for it, but you didn’t answer, so i thought you might have passed out again.”

“i did not pass out. i dozed off, told you already.”

“you were fallen on the snow!”

“behind my sentry office, hiding from undyne, just like you do all the time.” You sigh, getting up from the bathtub, also realizing the water was already cold. Damn it, how long have you been there? You take a towel and start to dry your bones after Sans gives you a hand to help you get out the tube. You didn’t need this kind of help, stil…

“but it was dangerous, maybe you should stop going to work.”

“for fuck’s sake, sans. i’m pregnant, not sick.”

“i know… but i worry about you.”

“you freak out. i told you already i’m gonna be okay. just need to avoid using my shortcuts and stuff.”

“yeah… sorry…”

“snow problem… just… don’t worry so much. You know i’m not fragile, and… this place is pretty nice. besides, you made the dog pack watch out for me.”

“how did you know?”

“dogaressa congratulate me for the ‘puppies’, and doggo won’t stop sniffing around trying to find me, even if i just stay on my post. shit, it gives me chills to have a dog smelling me. where i come from, they really, really like bones, but not in a good way, you know.”

“i just…”

“it’s okay. just a pain in the ass, but i guess i get it. i’d do the same.” You pat his back and start getting dressed.

“so… what do we do now?”

“don’t know… we wait?” You shrug, giving your back and opening the door. You were thinking about eating something, but right now the sight of the couch is much more appealing, so you just allow yourself the pleasure throwing yourself nonchalantly over the cushions.

“yeah, but… do we need any other… preparations? aside the ones papyrus is already taking care, of course.” He comes after you and sits by your side.

“i think everything is set. we have money, we have food, we are secure…” You point as you remember all kinds of fears you had you discovered your first pregnancy.

Now you only have one fear: the human.

You’ve been trying not to think about it, as if the simple thought would be able to summon the damn being.

No, it will not happen. They will never show up again, you tell yourself. They will never take another child from you, you swear as you close your fists.

“hum… red..?” a quivering voice calls you. “…your eye…” he points out, and you immediately control your magic and your rage as you notice you were about to lose it to another anxiety attack.

You try to breath. You can’t worry Sans, and you can’t let your baby feel these kinds of feelings. Inhaling and exhaling slowly, you put your hand over the ectoplasmic barrier, mumbling to the soul that everything is alright. There is a soft smile on your face, and you try to convince Sans that you are okay now.

“man, i slept a lot, but still feel tired. this little buddy here sure is a leech.”

“want me to take you to my bedroom? i think you’d sleep better there.” He already offered it before, but you still felt strange to accept. As if you’d be a real couple if you did. You are not sure if you two are a couple. It has passed just three days since you… well, since it all began.

“nah, i’m okay here.”

“anything i can do to help?”

“hum… wanna hold them?” You feel a little nervous about offering it, but Sans is the father, just like you, so, why not? And the book said it was healthier to have both parents nourishing the babybones. It wasn’t quite an option on your universe, so you were used to carry it alone most of the time, but if there was no danger in having Sans to help you, you’d sure appreciate it, for the sake of your child’s development, of course.

“hum?”

“you know… carry.”

“can i?”

“yeah, skeleton parents can switch, probably because creating a new soul and its matter with no biological source is pretty tough on your magic pool.”

“how… what do i do?”

“lift your clothes.”

“like this?”

“hold on a little…” you breath in, taking the courage and the will to hold the magical womb into your hands and putting it way. The feeling of loss is strange, but you know it won’t be away for long, so you try to just bear with it as you fit the dome inside Sans’ ribcage, near to his soul. “here, just accept the magic flow and let it connect to your soul.” He closes his eyes and try to concentrate. You can feel his magic through your fingers, and it’s a nice feeling. “yeah, just like this.”

“wow! i can fell them! i can fell them!” He says in awe, opening his eyes, and you smile softly as Sans’s blue magic began to fill the dome. The soul glowed content with the feeling of their other parent energy.

“congrats on your pregnancy.” You smirk, touching San’s ‘belly’, happy about how both of your magic were able to mix so perfectly.

“man, this is incredible!” He continued as he looked to the barrier. You don’t remember ever seeing him so excited before, with so much joy in his eyes. “man!”

“nice, hum? wait until they begin to form a body and start moving around. it’s fun, but a pain in the ass sometimes.”

“so.. . i take you’ve been through this before.” You flinch as your eyes wide. “sorry, didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. you don’t have to talk about it, you know.” He seems legitimately uncomfortable, just like you. He always avoided asking you stuff, and you were ever so grateful about that. But now the situation is different and you know there are things you must tell him, not only because he is going to be the father of your child, but because you trust him, and mostly because it wouldn’t be fair not to. You knew you’d need to talk to him, soon or latter, if not about this whole baby thing, but about other things, like your panic attacks, the marks on your bones, the nightmares you have. All the things he has been patiently helping you with.

To be healed… wasn’t that what you wanted? What he wanted as well? And what your child needed?

Yeah, you couldn’t be a good parent with such unstable metal health. You were much better, comparing to how you were when Sans first meet you, but still there were so many issues you had to deal with, and… Deep inside you knew Sans was definitively the best monster around to share this burden, not only because he was a good friend, but mostly because he was… just like you. The perspective of having someone who could really understand you, who have been through the shit you have, and that would never forget about the love you shared… It surely was appealing.

So you take a deep breath.

“no, it’s okay, i guess… i’d like to talk about it, if you are willing to listen.” At this point he just nods, looking somewhat skeptical, somewhat worried. You open your mouth in order to start speaking, but the right words refuse to leave. “oh man… it’s so difficult!”

“if you need more time…”

“no! i just…! it has been so long since… you know,  i decided i’d never get pregnant again, and now… i didn’t imagine it could happen with you… i mean, fuck, i knew, but…! fuck damn it!” You stop swearing as you feel his arms around you in a cozy hug. “sorry. i’d never imagine you really loved me. damn, i sound so smug saying this out loud, don’t i?” you snort as you fell heat coming from his checks. You dare not to look to his face, particularly since your face is flushed as well. “but i know you love me because it wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t.”

“so… is it what it takes? sex with love?” He asks after pondering for some time. “just it?”

“it’s not so simple.” You look for the best way to explain, but you don’t find one. “but basically, yeah… no need for sex, actually. what is needed is the encounter of magic, and i guess sex is a way. the ‘love’ stuff is the tricky part. you know, skeletons were almost extinct even before the war because it’s difficult to make the perfect magical match, and all. usually takes years of trust, love, all the shit like that that allow souls to connect, and voilà... a sparkle of soul is made.”

“so… you love me as well?”

“it’s what it seems…”

And if YOU didn’t love him as well… how could it happen so fast? How could it be so intense? You let the guy touch your soul, you left your former life, your brother, all because you wanted to stay with him. You thought of him all the time, and you really trust him. He was the best thing that happened in your life since so many resets. He took care of you, told you bad jokes, bought mustard, embraced you… He even touched your fucking soul! If it’s not love, what else could it be? Of course it was love, and the new soul is the proof. You were really stupid for not predicting it…

But still…

A pregnancy seemed out of range. Were you so desperate for love, craving so much for affection that you were able to truly open up your heart in such short amount of time?

Was he, as well?

“how do you know so much?”

“did a lot of research, a long time ago, when it first happened to me.”

“and… with who was it?” Can you feel a bit of jealously on his voice? Yes, you can.

“my brother.” It’s easy to understand the confused look on his face, especially since he witnessed most of your panic attacks. “yeah, it’s strange to think about it, but papyrus and i had something kinda nice. it was a long, long time ago, before the resets started, when he still was my ‘bro’, and not my ‘boss’.”

“you were… a couple?”

“yes. he was a bossy whining bitch, but i loved him, and he loved me, so things escalated naturally, i guess. yet, it took years of relationship before i first got pregnant.”

“how was it?”

“well… we panicked, of course. we had no idea what was going on, so i stole a bunch of books from alphys, and some other things we found out by ourselves… you know, underground was a shitty place, you’d never want to raise a child there, but, well, we… we did our best to find out what was going on, and how to raise them, and we hide it, because it was dangerous… we even planed moving away from snowdin, finding a calmer place. papyrus would quit his job as royal guard, leave the status and the duty for the sake of his child, so… i guess we were really happy back there. we were full of hope, you know….” You say softly, a sad smile on your face as you try to remember such distant times. “It was before the first reset. One day I simply wake up and the soul was gone, as if they’ve never existed. Papyrus didn’t remember anything, and I just thought I was going insane.” You fight the tears forming in your orbits. “it happened two more times. i never got to deliver them, to see their face… during my fourth pregnancy, i was already going crazy… i couldn’t, i just couldn’t lose another soul, so i searched everywhere for the responsible for that shit. and i found them, at the ruins, the human child, hurt and full of dust, a knife in hand, and… that creepy expression… it still gives me chills, every time i remember it.” You look at Sans at this point, and by the look on his face, you know he’d seen it too. “they had already dusted the queen and the damn flower. it was the most fearsome scene i’ve ever seen, and i couldn’t run away, nor fight back. i didn’t have enough magic, so i just begged for mercy. i begged them to not kill me, because i had a baby within me.” You laugh.

You actually laugh as the tears roll down your checks and Sans looks at you in shock. You feel relieved that Sans is the one carrying the baby right now. You wouldn’t want the soul to feel your emotions right now. All that fear and terror, the loss and despair… No one deserved to feel that.

“after that, i knew everything was gone. i even tried to stop the human. i killed them so many times, but they’d always came back, more determinate… so… i just gave up. nothing made sense, nothing had meaning. everything was lost forever, my hope, my dreams, my happiness with my bro…” You brace yourself, the memory is so painful you almost can’t take it. You feel like throwing up. “so i began to avoid papyrus. i couldn’t deal with the perspective of losing my child again, and i didn’t let he touch me anymore. i tried to explain why we couldn’t be together, but he wouldn’t understand, nor believe me. he’d say he’d protect us no matter what… it was pointless, so, at some point, i just got distant, without trying to explain. sometimes i hurt his feelings on purpose, so he’d let me go… i thought it was the easiest way, to make him hate me. fuck…” At this point you can’t hold the tears anymore. They are running down your checks, even if you repeatedly blink your eye lights trying to make them stop burning. “he suffered so much, so many times… and… you know…. some things stay, even after the resets. even if they don’t remember, the fear, sadness, hurt, sorrow, grief… they seem to stay. or maybe, i just changed my point of view, i don’t really know, but… the resets… they changed the world… and they changed my brother. he got so violent and so depressed, in some resets his lv raised to amount you’d not believe… hurt turned into hate, and at some point he was no longer was my brother, but my boss. he became really mean to me, just like i was to him, i was okay with that, i told myself, but… it hurt so much! so much!” You need to stop for some seconds, taking deep breaths to prevent an upcoming sobbing. Sans notices you are close to a hyperventilation episode and hugs you, calmly passing his hands through your back and head, not saying anything, nor hushing you. This eases you a little and after some contained sobs, you begin speaking again. “i was too lonely, about to lose my mind, and one day i went to grillby and started babbling about all my shit, and he just listened to me. he was nice, treated me well, and… well…. sex with him was safe, because we were not compatible, so i could love him without fear of losing another baby…. a-and even if the timeline would start again, i’d be able to make him love me again, s-so… so i felt like i could have hope once more…” at this point, another bittersweet smile forms on your face, but not for long. “but papyrus found out, and it was the worse. he was so mad, he killed grillby and… man, he was so angry! he called me a dirty whore… and he… oh man…” All the previous effort to keep calm was pointless because you are crying now, openly and clearly. You can’t help but sob and wail as you climb Sans’ body in a desperate embrace. “he hurt me so much… so much! because i hurt him even more… it was my fault, and shut up, i know you are going to say it wasn’t, but i know better! and it was really my fault, especially since after this, i could never fell the same about him… i could not see him as my little brother, the one i loved so much, that i wanted to protect. i could only fear him, avoid him, even during the next resets! I  H A T E D  H I M…” Your eye sockets went blank as you said that last sentence, and you knew it’d be shocking for Sans to hear that, but… “the ‘good‘ thing was that, even if it happened again… even if he raped me, i’d never get pregnant again, because I didn’t love him anymore, so… so i didn’t really care. he could beat me, rape me, i was lost already, but a little soul… a child didn’t deserve to be born under such circumstances, so, i just let thing go on as they were. and it only got worse… worse and  worse, every time, a-and e-even i-if i… i…” At this point you are no longer able to form any coherent sentence, so you just cry out loud, until you feel all of your energy fading alongside with your grief and pain.

Sans seemed to understand it, so just lets you cry as much as you need, and damn it, you needed it a lot. You really needed to put it out: all the guilty, sorrowful and ugly things you did to your brother, and that your brother did to you. You let it go until you can at least breath again, and when you have no forces to cry, you weep until there are no more tears to be shed. After your eye sockets run dry, you are finally able to stop sobbing and feeling so mizerable. This last part was only really possible due Sans' embrace arround you. You could feel his soul and the child's, both so full of love you could only think about how lucky you actually are for coming into this universe, into this forgotten reset, into this other version of you own. It was crazy, but, even if the fears remained, they were kind of different now. More bearable, maybe. You try to indetify the cause of this change, and deep inside, you wonder in awe: was this how having hope felt like?

You smile at the though and turn around, kissing softly Sans's check and resting your head over his shoulder. 

"thank you..." you whisper, closing your eyelights as you feel the caring touch of his fingers on your head.

Definitively, that was how hope felt like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... here I am, a broken hand (have you ever typed with your hand in a cast? it sucks), a broken year, no inspiration and a MBA article to be donne. So, let me just thank everybody for reading, for the kudos e and comments. You guys are great. This fandom is great. I love it, really.  
> I'm not sure I'll be able to write any time soon, my life is such a chaos, but, if you have any thoughts about my writing, or about this story, plase, share it with me.  
> Thank you again, Flowernight, for sharing your headcanon about the babybones switching, it is lovely.  
> Thank you, Captain_shitpost, for your last chapter on Bright Eyes. It came on a really shitty day, and made me feel like writing again.  
> Thanks, everybody.


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